聪明人总会告诉你答案。甚至是你没留意过的事情。其目的是给你留下印象。更确切地说，正如纳西塞斯一样，是为了要从你脸上的反应看到所映衬出的自己。
a clever man will always tell you answers. he will tell you things you may not even care about. his purpose is toimpress. to be more accurate, his purpose is, like that of narcissus, to see himself reflected in the reaction on your face.
这也许是由于自负、骄傲以及不安全感导致他要寻求你的反应。你是聪明人需求的实现。你是满足了他需求的听众。
it may be arrogance, hubris orinsecurity that causes him to seek a reaction fromyou. you are the fulfillment of the need of a clever man. you are the audiencethat satisfies his need.
智者不会试图说服你任何事情。智者试图构建自我，而非你。他提出问题，因为他想了解更多东西。他需要了解更多，因为他意识到,有那么多的东西他几乎一无所知。他意识到自己不懂的要多于他懂的。
a wise man will not try to convince youof anything. a wise man is trying to build himself, not to build you. he asks questions because he wants to learn more. he needs to learn more because he is aware of how little he knows about so many things. he is aware less of what he knows than of what he does not yet know.
智者不会让你改变观点。如果你有此意愿并充满渴求，他也许会引导你找出自己的答案。他不会强迫你，因为他有自己的追求。
a wise man will not proselytize you. if you are willing and eager, he may guide you to find your own answers. he will not push you because he is on his own quest.
中英双语美文
努力，是一种生活态度
Trying is an attitude. It has nothing to do with your age.
努力是一种生活态度，与年龄无关。
Someone kept pushing his horizon when he was already 45, and he found his dream job the next year. 有的人在45岁的时候，依旧在挑战极限，最后在第二年找到了自己梦寐以求的工作。
This man's name is Barack Obama. 这个人，叫贝拉克·奥巴马。
And his new job was the President of the United States.
而他的新工作，是美国总统。
Another man thought his golden age had already ended when he was 35. So he gave up and accepted the status quo. 有的人在35岁时就觉得自己的黄金岁月已经过去，于是放弃了努力、接受了现状。
And no one knows his name.
而他的名字，没有人知道。
No one cares.
也没有人在乎。
No, trying does not only belong to the young or children.
不，努力不是专属于年轻人和孩子的东西。
And it has nothing to do with time.
它与时间无关。
It's not an obligation put on your shoulder by others. It is the desire for a better self that takes root deeply in your heart. It is a positive life-attitude. 它不是外界对你的逼迫，而是你自己内心对更进一步的渴望，是一种积极向上的生活态度。
The most horrible thing that can happen in your life is not being unseccessful even though you tried, but that you give up and tell yourself it is precious to be just ordinary. What is the common thread in people who emanate warmth? Some may think it is related to personality or physical appearance. But this does little to explain why bright beacons of light can be found anywhere. Essence has nothing to do with our exterior.
那些气场中自带温暖的人有哪些共性呢？一些人也许认为这与性格或外貌有关。但这基本解释不了为什么明亮的灯塔之光四处可见。本质与我们的外在无关。
I like to believe the common thread is a universal trait we are all able to tap into. When we see the truth of who we are and wholeheartedly love every part of that truth, we automatically shine. When we embrace our essence and live in congruence with who we are, we radiate peace.
我愿意相信这个共性是我们都能够触及的、普遍存在的品质。当我们欣赏自己的本质并全心全意热爱着这一切的时候，我们自然而然就会出类拔萃。当我们欣然接受自己的本质并遵循本心来生活的时候，我们会自带平和的光环。
Every day we can choose to wake up and see the gift of getting to be who we are. When we decide to live from this way of “being,” it becomes easy to see this same light and gift in everyone — even those who may not yet see it in themselves.
每一天，我们都可以选择一醒来就欣赏做自己这一项天赋。当我们决定以“本性”来生活的时候，在每个人身上，甚至是那些可能还没有开始欣赏自身本性的人身上，我们变得很容易就能看到同样的光芒和天赋了。
The benefits of self-love are many. What I know to be true without a doubt in my heart, is that we are all capable of giving this gift to ourselves.
自爱的益处有很多。我所知道的真相就是，我们都能赋予自己这项天赋，这一点我深信不疑。
These words help me remember why embracing my essence is always the best thing to do. Perhaps this may resonate with where you are.
这些话让我想起欣然接受自己的本质始终是上策的原因。或许这也会与你产生共鸣。
When you love who you are,
当你爱自己的时候，
you become a conduit of light.
你会成为一道光。
Just drop into your heart space,
只需触及心房，
and live life from this view.
并遵循本心来生活。
For all of this doing
做这一切
is not who you are. 无关你是谁。
Listen to your heart’s soft whisper, 聆听内心轻柔的呢喃， this voice will show you the way. 她会告诉你方法。 Live life from your essence 遵循本性来生活 is what she will say. 她会这样告诉你。 See the light in yourself, 欣赏自身的光芒， and your world will be bright. 你的世界都会变得明亮。 There is no need to worry, 没必要担心，
you are exactly as you should be; 你正是自己本来的模样； remember to love who you are, 记得爱自己， and love you will see. 爱自己欣赏的一切。
生而为人，生而为仁
A doctor entered the hospital in hurry after being called in for an urgent surgery. He answered the call asap, changed his clothes & went directly to the surgery block. He found the boy's father pacing in the hall waiting for the doctor. On seeing him, the dad yelled: 在接到一通紧急手术的电话以后，一名医生急匆匆地走进医院。他一听到电话马上就接了，换了衣服，径直走到手术区域。他看见患者的父亲在走廊焦急地来回踱步等待着医生，一看见医生便咆哮道：
“Why did you take all this time to come? Don't you know that my son's life is in danger? Don't you have any sense of responsibility?” 你怎么这么久才来？知不知道我的儿子危在旦夕？你还有没有点责任心？
The doctor smiled & said:
医生面带微笑说道：
“I am sorry, I wasn't in the hospital & I came as fast as I could after receiving the call...... And now, I wish you'd calm down so that I can do my work”
“我很抱歉当时我不在医院，接到电话以后我也尽可能快的赶来了，现在你需要冷静，我要开始我的工作了。
“Calm down?! What if your son was in this room right now, would you calm down? If your own son dies now what will you do??” said the father angrily
冷静？！如果现在手术室里面的是你的儿子，你会冷静么？如果你自己的儿子要死了，你会怎么做呢？这位父亲生气的说道。 The doctor smiled again & replied: “I will say what Job said in the Holy Book ”From dust we came & to dust we return, blessed be the name of God“. Doctors cannot prolong lives.
医生依然面带微笑回答道：我会说，约伯在《圣经》里曾说，承蒙上天关爱，我们源于尘土也终将归于尘土。
The surgery took some hours after which the doctor went out happy,”Thank goodness!, your son is saved!“ And without waiting for the father's reply he carried on his way running. ”If you have any question, ask the nurse!!“
手术进行了几个小时，之后医生高兴地从里面走出来。“感谢上帝，你的儿子得救了！“还没有等父亲回答，他就一路小跑走了“如果你有任何问题，问护士吧。”
”Why is he so arrogant? He couldn't wait some minutes so that I ask about my son's state“ Commented the father when seeing the nurse minutes after the doctor left.
几分钟后父亲看到护士抱怨道，“他为什么如此傲慢，也不等个几分钟让我问问儿子的情况”
The nurse answered, tears coming down her face: ”His son died yesterday in a road accident, he was in the burial when we called him for your son's surgery. And now that he saved your son's life, he left running to finish his son's burial.“
“他的儿子昨天出交通事故去世了，我们打电话让他手术的时候他正好在善后，现在他救好了你儿子就要赶回去参加葬礼。”说着护士留下了眼泪。
Moral - Never judge anyone..... because you never know how their life is and what they're going through”
这个故事告诉我们：不要轻易评价一个人，因为你了解他们的人生也不知道他们此刻正在经历什么。
关于获得成功中英双语美文
On Achieving Success
We cannot travel every path. Success must be won along one line. We must make our business the one life purpose to which every other must be subordinate.
I hate a thing done by halves. If it be right, do it boldly. If it be wrong, leave it undone.
The men of history were not perpetually looking into the mirror to make sure of their own size. Absorbed in their work they did it. They did it so well that the wondering world sees them to be great, and labeled them accordingly.
To live with a high ideal is a successful life. It is not what one does, but what one tries to do, that makes a man strong.“Eternal vigilance,” it has been said,“is the price of liberty.” With equal truth it may be said,“Unceasing effort is the price of success.” If we do not work with our might, others will; and they will outstrip us in the race, and pluck the prize from our grasp. Success grows less and less dependent on luck and chance. Self-distrust is the cause of most of our failures. The great and indispensable help to success is character. Character is a crystallized habit, the result of training and conviction. Every character is influenced by heredity, environment and education. But these apart, if every man were not to be a great extent the architect of his own character, he would be a fatalist, and irresponsible creature of circumstances. Instead of saying that man is a creature of circumstance, it would be nearer the mark to say that man is the architect of circumstance. From the same materials one man builds palaces, another hovel. Bricks and mortar are mortar and bricks, until the architect can make them something else. The true way to gain much is never to desire to gain too much. Wise men don’t care for what they can’t have.
关于获得成功
欧内斯特.海明威
我们不可能把每条路都走一遍。必须执着于一条道路才能获得成功。我们必须有一个终生追求的目标，其他的则从属于这个目标。
我痛恨做事半途而废。如果这件事是对的，就大胆勇敢地去做；如果这件事不对，就不要去做。
历史长河中的伟人并不是靠终日瞻观镜中的自己来衡量自身的形象的。他们的形象来自对事业全身心的投入与追求。他们是如此的卓越超凡，于是芸芸众生觉得他们很伟大，并因此称他们为伟人。
为崇高的.理想而活着是一种成功的生活。使人变强大的，不是这个人做了什么，而是他努力尝试去做什么。有人说过，“恒久的警惕是自由的代价”，那同样也可以说，“不懈的努力是成功的代价。”
倘若我们不尽全力工作，别人会尽全力，随后他们将在竞争中超越我们，从我们手中夺取胜利的果实。
成功越来越不依赖于运气和巧合。丧失自信是我们失败的主要原因。
性格是取得成功不可或缺的重要助力。性格是一种固化成形的习惯，是不断培养并坚信于此的结果。每个人的性格都会受到遗传因素、环境和教育的影响。但除此之外，如果人在很大程度上不能成为自己性格的构筑者，那么他就会沦为宿命论者，从而成为环境的失败造物。
与其说人是环境的造物，不如说人是环境的建筑师更贴切些。同样的材料，有人能用其建造出宫殿，而有人只能建成简陋的小屋。在建筑师将其变成他物之前，砖泥依然是砖泥。
想得到的多就永远不要奢望太多。
智者不会在意他们得不到的东西。
总是有这么一些人，喜欢道听途说，人云亦云；凡事多分析，多考虑，相信谣言止于智者。聪明的你，会懂的！
三个筛子
Grandpa Hodge was the most popular sage in the village because he was so philosophic in speaking and doing things that everyone revered him as “Grandpa Wisdom”.
霍奇爷爷是村里最受欢迎的长者，因为他讲话做事都很有哲理，大家都尊称他为“智慧爷爷”。
One day, a man hurried to Grandpa Wisdom and said, “Grandpa, I have a piece of news to tell you…”
有一天，一个人匆匆跑到智慧爷爷那里说：“爷爷，我有个消息要告诉你……”
“Wait a moment,” Grandpa Hodge stroked his beard and cut him short, “Have you sifted the news you will tell me with three sieves?”
“等一下，”霍奇爷爷摸了摸胡子，打断了他的话，“你要告诉我的消息，用三个筛子筛过了吗？”
“Three sieves? Which three sieves?” the man asked with puzzlement.
“三个筛子？哪三个筛子？”那人不解的问。
“The first sieve is Truth. Is the news you will tell me true?” Grandpa Hodge asked, narrowing his eyes.
“第一个筛子叫真实。你要告诉我的消息确实是真的吗？”霍奇爷爷眯着眼问道。
“I don’t know because I overhead it from the street.”
“不知道，我是从街上听来的。”
“Now let’s check it with the second sieve,” Grandpa Hodge went on, “If the news you will tell me is not true, it should be friendly.”
“现在再用第二个筛子来审查吧，”霍奇爷爷接着说，“你要告诉我的这个消息就算不是真实的，也应该是善意的吧？”
The man hesitantly answered, “No, just the other way round…”
那人踌躇的回答说：“不，正好相反．．．．．．”
Grandpa Hodge once again interrupted him, “So let’s use the third sieve. Can you tell me if the news that is exciting you is very important?”
霍奇爷爷再次打断他的话：“那么我们再用第三个筛子，请问，使你如此激动的消息很重要吗？”
“It is not so important,” the man answered with embarrassment.
“并不怎么重要，”那人不好意思地回答。
Grandpa Hodge patted the shoulder of the man and said significantly, “Now that the news you will tell me is not true, friendly or important, please don’t tell me. Then it won’t trouble you and me.”
霍奇爷爷拍了拍那人的肩膀，意味深长的说：“既然你要告诉我的事，既不真实，也非善意，更不重要，那么就请你别说了吧！这样的话，它就不会困扰你和我了。”
The man took a tumble and never spread the overhead news ever since.
那人恍然大悟，从此以后再也不到处传播道听途说的消息了。
We often close ourselves off when traumatic events happen in our lives; instead of letting the world soften us, we let it drive us deeper into ourselves. We try to deflect the hurt and pain by pretending it doesn’t exist, but although we can try this all we want, in the end, we can’t hide from ourselves. We need to learn to open our hearts to the potentials of life and let the world soften us.
生活发生不幸时，我们常常会关上心门；世界不仅没能慰藉我们，反倒使我们更加消沉。我们假装一切仿佛都不曾发生，以此试图忘却伤痛，可就算隐藏得再好，最终也还是骗不了自己。既然如此，何不尝试打开心门，拥抱生活中的各种可能，让世界感化我们呢？
Whenever we start to let our fears and seriousness get the best of us, we should take a step back and re-evaluate our behavior. The items listed below are six ways you can open your heart more fully and completely.
当恐惧与焦虑来袭时，我们应该退后一步，重新反思自己的言行。下面六个方法有助于你更完满透彻地敞开心扉。
1. Breathe into pain
直面痛苦
Whenever a painful situation arises in your life, try to embrace it instead of running away or trying to mask the hurt. When the sadness strikes, take a deep breath and lean into it. When we run away from sadness that’s unfolding in our lives, it gets stronger and more real. We take an emotion that’s fleeting and make it a solid event, instead of something that passes through us.
当生活中出现痛苦的事情时，别再逃跑或隐藏痛苦，试着拥抱它吧；当悲伤来袭时，试着深呼吸，然后直面它。如果我们一味逃避生活中的悲伤，悲伤只会变得更强烈更真实——悲伤原本只是稍纵即逝的情绪，我们却固执地耿耿于怀。
By utilizing our breath we soften our experiences. If we dam them up, our lives will stagnate, but when we keep them flowing, we allow more newness and greater experiences to blossom.
深呼吸能减缓我们的感受。屏住呼吸，生活停滞；呼出呼吸，更多新奇与经历又将拉开序幕。
2. Embrace the uncomfortable
拥抱不安
We all know what that twinge of anxiety feels like. We know how fear feels in our bodies: the tension in our necks, the tightness in our stomachs, etc. We can practice leaning into these feelings of discomfort and let them show us where we need to go.
我们都经历过焦灼的煎熬感，也都感受过恐惧造成的生理反应：脖子僵硬、胃酸翻腾。其实，我们有能力面对这些痛苦的感受，从中领悟到出路。
The initial impulse is to run away — to try and suppress these feelings by not acknowledging them. When we do this, we close ourselves off to the parts of our lives that we need to experience most. The next time you have this feeling of being truly uncomfortable, do yourself a favor and lean into the feeling. Act in spite of the fear.
我们的第一反应总是逃避——以为否认不安情绪的存在就能万事大吉，可这也恰好妨碍了我们经历最需要的生活体验。下次感到不安时，不管有多害怕，也请试着勇敢面对吧。
3. Ask your heart what it wants
倾听内心
We’re often confused at the next step to take, making pros and cons lists until our eyes bleed and our brains are sore. Instead of always taking this approach, what if we engaged a new part of ourselves that isn’t usually involved in the decision making process?
我们常对未来犹疑不定，反复考虑利弊直到身心俱疲。与其一味顾虑重重，不如从局外人的角度看待决策之事。
I know we’ve all felt decisions or actions that we had to take simply due to our “gut” impulses: when asked, we can’t explain the reasons behind doing so — just a deep knowing that it had to get done. This instinct is the part of ourselves we’re approaching for answers.
其实很多决定或行动都是我们一念之间的结果：要是追问原因的话，恐怕我们自己也道不清说不明，只是感到直觉如此罢了。而这种直觉恰好是我们探索结果的潜在自我。
To start this process, take few deep breaths then ask, “Heart, what decision should I make here? What action feels the most right?”
开始前先做几次深呼吸，问自己：“内心认为该做什么样的决定呢？觉得采取哪个方案最恰当？”
See what comes up, then engage and evaluate the outcome.
看看自己的内心反应如何，然后全力以赴、静待结果吧。
Occasionally, life can be undeniably, impossibly difficult. We are faced with challenges and events that can seem overwhelming, life-destroying to the point where it may be hard to decide whether to keep going. But you always have a choice. Jessica Heslop shares her powerful, inspiring journey from the worst times in her life to the new life she has created for herself:
生活有时候困难得难以置信，但又不容置疑。我们面临的挑战与困境似乎无法抵御，试图毁灭我们生活，甚至使你犹疑是否继续走下去。但是你总有选择的余地。从人生低谷走向新生活的杰西卡·赫斯乐普，在这里与我们分享她启迪心灵、充满震撼力的生活之旅。
In I had the worst year of my life.
是我生活中最艰难的一年。
I worked in a finance job that I hated and I lived in a concrete jungle city with little greenery. I occupied my time with meaningless relationships and spent copious quantities of money on superficialities. I was searching for happiness and had no idea where to find it.
我做着讨厌的财务工作，住在难寻绿色的高楼林立的城市。我忙于无意义的交往，在一些肤浅表面的东西上大笔开销。我寻找快乐，却又不知道它在哪里。
Then I fell ill with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) and became virtually bed bound. I had to quit my job and subsequently was left with no income. I lived with my boyfriend of then only 3 months who financially supported me and our relationship was put under great pressure. I eventually regained my physical health, but not long after that I got a call from my family at home to say that my father’s cancer had fiercely progressed and that he had been admitted to a hospice.
然后我患上了慢性疲劳综合症，几乎到了卧床不起的地步。我不得不辞掉工作，同时也就断了财源。我和那时仅相处了3个月的男友住在一起，经济上完全依赖于他，我们的关系承受着巨大压力。终于我恢复健康，但不久，我接到家里的电话，父亲的癌症急剧恶化，已经住进了临终关怀中心。
I left the city and I went home to be with him.
我离开了城市，回家陪父亲。
He died 6 months later.
6个月之后，他去世了。
My father was a complete inspiration to me. He was always so strong that, for a minute after he drew his last breath, I honestly thought he would come back to life. I couldn’t believe I would never again cuddle into his big warm chest and feel safe no matter what.
父亲的事让我彻底清醒。他一直很强壮，在他咽气之后一分钟里，我真的认为，他会活过来。我不能相信，我再也不能依偎在他温暖的怀抱里，享受他宽大的胸怀带给我的安全感。
The grief that followed was intense for all of us 5 children and our mother, but we had each other.
母亲和我们5个兄弟姐妹极为难过，但至少我们还拥有彼此。
But my oldest sister at that time complained of a bad back. It got so bad after 2 months that she too was admitted to hospital.
但是，那时我大姐开始抱怨着背痛，2个月后，因疼痛加剧也住进了医院。
They discovered that she had highly advanced cancer in her bones and that there was nothing that they could do.
医生们检查发现，她已是骨癌晚期，对此他们已无能为力。
She died 1 month later.
1个月之后，她也走了。
I could never put into words the loss of my sister in my life.
大姐的逝去让我陷入难以形容的痛苦之中。
She was a walking, talking angel and my favourite person in the whole world. If someone could have asked me the worst thing that could ever happen, it would have been losing her.
在这个世界上，她是一个能走路、会说话的天使，我最喜欢的人。如果有人问我，世界上发生的最坏的事情是什么，那就是失去她。
She was my soul-mate and I never thought I would journey this lifetime without her.
她是我的灵魂伴侣，我从来没有想过，我会走过没有她陪伴的生命旅程。
The Moment Of Deliberate Choice
抉择时刻
The shock and extreme heart break brought me to my knees. The pain was so great and my world just looked desolate. I had no real home, no money, no job, and no friends that cared. Not one person had even sent me a sympathy card for my loss.
我被打击和极度的心痛击挎了。强烈的痛苦使世界在我眼中变得如此凄凉。我没有真正意义上的家，没有钱，没有工作，也没有关心我的朋友。没有一个人因我失去亲人而寄给我慰问卡。
I made an attempt of my own life and I ended up in hospital.
我尝试着活下去，结果住进了医院。
I remember lying in the hospital bed, looking up at the ceiling and seeing my sister’s beautiful face. She stayed with me all night long.
我记得，躺在病床上，看着天花板，看到姐姐美丽的面庞。她整夜守候着我。
I realised during that night that I had a choice. I could choose to end my life or I could choose to live it.
那天晚上，我意识到我可以选择。要么结束生命，要么活下去。
I looked in my sister’s eyes and I made a decision not to go with her just yet. That I would stay and complete my journey here.
望着姐姐的眼睛，我决定不跟她走。我要留下来，走完我的生命旅程。
I also made the decision that, I wouldn’t just live any life. I would live the life that I absolutely LOVE and nothing less.
同时，我还决定，不只为生活而生活，我要完全以自己想要的方式生活。
In that moment, the clarity that descended around me was like a light shining in a dark room for the first time. As if the earth’s plates had shifted under my feet and everything suddenly looked real for the first time.
在那一刻，这一想法第一次清晰得如同一盏在黑暗闪烁的明灯。好像脚下的地球版块变换了，每一样东西在我眼前都真实得前所未有。
Love Is Not Like Merchandise
爱情不是商品
A reader in Florida, apparently bruised by some personal experience, writes in to complain, “If I steal a nickel's worth of merchandise, I am a thief and punished; but if I steal the love of another's wife, I am free.”
佛罗里达州的一位读者显然是在个人经历上受过创伤, 他写信来抱怨道: “如果我偷走了五分钱的商品, 我就是个贼, 要受到惩罚, 但是如果我偷走了他人的爱人的爱情, 我没事儿。”
This is a prevalent misconception in many people's minds---that love, like merchandise, can be “stolen”. Numerous states, in fact, have enacted laws allowing damages for “alienation of affections”.
这是许多人心目中普遍存在的一种错误观念——爱情, 像商品一样, 可以 “偷走”。实际上，许多州都颁布法令，允许索取“情感转让”赔偿金。
But love is not a commodity; the real thing cannot be bought, sold, traded or stolen. It is an act of the will, a turning of the emotions, a change in the climate of the personality.
但是爱情并不是商品；真情实意不可能买到，卖掉，交换，或者偷走。爱情是志愿的行动，是感情的转向，是个性发挥上的变化。
When a husband or wife is “stolen” by another person, that husband or wife was already ripe for the stealing, was already predisposed toward a new partner. The “love bandit” was only taking what was waiting to be taken, what wanted to be taken.
当丈夫或妻子被另一个人“偷走”时，那个丈夫或妻子就已经具备了被偷走的条件，事先已经准备接受新的伴侣了。这位“爱匪”不过是取走等人取走、盼人取走的东西。
We tend to treat persons like goods. We even speak of the children “belonging” to their parents. But nobody “belongs” to anyone else. Each person belongs to himself, and to God. Children are entrusted to their parents, and if their parents do not treat them properly, the state has a right to remove them from their parents' trusteeship.
我们往往待人如物。我们甚至说孩子“属于”父母。但是谁也不“属于”谁。人都属于自己和上帝。孩子是托付给父母的，如果父母不善待他们，州政府就有权取消父母对他们的托管身份。
Most of us, when young, had the experience of a sweetheart being taken from us by somebody more attractive and more appealing. At the time, we may have resented this intruder---but as we grew older, we recognized that the sweetheart had never been ours to begin with. It was not the intruder that “caused” the break, but the lack of a real relationship.
我们多数人年轻时都有过恋人被某个更有诱惑力、更有吸引力的人夺去的经历。在当时，我们兴许怨恨这位不速之客---但是后来长大了，也就认识到了心上人本来就不属于我们。并不是不速之客“导致了”决裂，而是缺乏真实的关系。
On the surface, many marriages seem to break up because of a “third party”. This is, however, a psychological illusion. The other woman or the other man merely serves as a pretext for dissolving a marriage that had already lost its essential integrity.
从表面上看，许多婚姻似乎是因为有了“第三者”才破裂的。然而这是一种心理上的幻觉。另外那个女人，或者另外那个男人，无非是作为借口，用来解除早就不是完好无损的婚姻罢了。
Nothing is more futile and more self-defeating than the bitterness of spurned love, the vengeful feeling that someone else has “come between” oneself and a beloved. This is always a distortion of reality, for people are not the captives or victims of others---they are free agents, working out their own destinies for good or for ill.
因失恋而痛苦，因别人“插足”于自己与心上人之间而图报复，是最没有出息、最自作自受的乐。这种事总是歪曲了事实真相，因为谁都不是给别人当俘虏或牺牲品——人都是自由行事的，不论命运是好是坏，都由自己来作主。
But the rejected lover or mate cannot afford to believe that his beloved has freely turned away from him--- and so he ascribes sinister or magical properties to the interloper. He calls him a hypnotist or a thief or a home-breaker. In the vast majority of cases, however, when a home is broken, the breaking has begun long before any “third party” has appeared on the scene.
但是，遭离弃的情人或配偶无法相信她的心上人是自由地背离他的——因而他归咎于插足者心术不正或迷人有招。他把他叫做催眠师、窃贼或破坏家庭的人。然而，从大多数事例看，一个家的破裂，是早在什么“第三者”出现之前就开始了的。
In this life, what did you miss?
在生活中，你错过了什么？
The wife asked the husband when she was 25. Despondently, the husband replied: 'I missed a new job opportunity.'
妻子25岁的时候这样问丈夫。丈夫沮丧地回答：“我错过了一个新的工作机会。”
When she was 35, the husband angrily told her that he had just missed the bus.
35岁时，丈夫生气地说他错过了公交车。
At 45, the husband sadly said: 'I missed the oppotunity seeing my closed relative before his last breath.'
45岁时，丈夫悲伤地说：“我错过了见至亲最后一面的机会。”
At 55, the husband said disappointingly: 'I missed a good chance to retire.'
55岁时，丈夫失望地说：“我错过了一个退休的好机会。”
At 65, the husband hurriedly replied: 'I missed a dental appointment.'
65岁时，丈夫匆匆地回答：“我错过了和牙医的预约。”
At 75, the wife did not ask the husband anymore, the husband was kneeling in front of the very sick wife. Remembering the question the wife used to ask him, this time he asked the wife the same question. The wife, with a smile and peaceful look, replied: 'In this life, I did not miss having you!'
75岁，妻子不再问丈夫同样的问题，丈夫跪在病重的妻子面前，想起以前妻子常常问起的那个问题，这次他也问了妻子同样的问题，妻子笑了笑，一脸平静地说：“我这一生，没有错过你！”
The husband was full of tears. He always thought that they could be together forever. He was always busy with work and trifles. So much so he had never been thoughtful to his wife. The husband hugged the wife tightly and said: 'Over 50 years, how I had allowed myself to miss your deep love for me.'
丈夫满眼泪水，他总是认为可以和妻子白头到老，于是总是忙于工作和琐事，从没在意过妻子。他紧紧地抱住妻子说：“这50多年来，我怎么能允许自己错过了你对我的爱呢。”
In the busy city life, there are many people who are always busy with work. These people revolve their lives around their jobs, these people sacrifice all their times and health to meet the social expectations. They are unwilling to spend times on health care. They miss the opportunity to be with their children in their growing up. They neglect the loved ones who care for them, and also their health.
在繁忙的城市生活中，有人总是忙于工作。他们整天围着工作转，甚至为了达到社会的标准，牺牲了自己的健康。他们不愿花时间来关注自己的健康，在孩子成长的过程中错失了与之共享天伦之乐的机会。他们忽视了那些关心他们的人，以及他们的健康。
Nobody knows what is going to happen one year from now.
没有人知道一年后会发生什么事情。
Life is not permanent, so always live in the now. Express your gratitude to your loved ones in words. Show your care with actions. Treat everyday as the last episode of life. In this way, when you are gone, you loved ones would have nothing to feel sorry about.
生命不是永恒的，所以活在当下吧。把你对爱人的感谢说出来，用行动证明你关心他们。把每一天当作人生的最后一个篇章，只有这样，当你离开时，你爱的人们才会没有遗憾。
美文赏析:去经历去体验 做最好最真实的自己
Truly happy and successful people get that way by becoming the best, most genuine version of themselves they can be. Not on the outside--on the inside. It's not about a brand, a reputation, a persona. It's about reality. Who you really are.
真正快乐成功的人会长成最好最真实的自己——从内心而非外表上。重要的不是品牌、名誉或者外表形象，而是真实的自我。
Sounds simple, I know. It is a simple concept. The problem is, it's very hard to do, it takes a lot of work, and it can take a lifetime to figure it out.
道理很简单，讲出来也很容易。但问题是，做起来就不简单了：这需要付诸很多努力，甚或一辈子才能实现。
Nothing worth doing in life is ever easy. If you want to do great work, it's going to take a lot of hard work to do it. And you're going to have to break out of your comfort zone and take some chances that will scare the crap out of you.
需要穷尽毕生精力的事情必定不容易。成大事者必先苦其心志。因此，你必须走出舒适区，去经历、去体验那些会让你害怕的机会。
But you know, I can't think of a better way to spend your life. I mean, what's life for if not finding yourself and trying to become the best, most genuine version of you that you can be?
况且，人这一辈子，若到头来都认不清自己、未能长成最好最真实的自己，还有什么意义呢？
That's what Steve Jobs meant when he said this at a Stanford University commencement speech:
正如史蒂夫-乔布斯在斯坦福大学的毕业典礼上所言：
Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice.
时间宝贵，不要虚掷光阴过着他人的生活。不要让周遭的聒噪言论蒙蔽你内心的声音。
You have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something--your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
你要相信，生活中的偶然冥冥中也能指引未来。你要心怀信念——相信你的直觉、命运、生活抑或因缘。这个方法一直给我力量，促使我过得卓然不同。
The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle.
成大事的唯一途径就是做自己喜欢的事情。若你还没找到，那就继续追寻吧，不要停下来。
Now, let's for a moment be realistic about this. Insightful as that advice may be, it sounds a little too amorphous and challenging to resonate with today's quick-fix culture. These days, if you can't tell people exactly what to do and how to do it, it falls on deaf ears.
现在我们来实际一点：建议或许很深刻，但听完却让人无从着手，难以运用到当今的快节奏文化中。现如今，如果一个建议讲不清具体做什么、该怎么做的话，那么说了也等于白说。
Not only that, but what Jobs was talking about, what I'm talking about, requires focus and discipline, two things that are very hard to come by these days. Why? Because, focus and discipline are hard. It's so much easier to give in to distraction and instant gratification. Easy and addictive.
不仅如此，乔布斯的讲话和我要说的话都需要集中和自制——这两个品质在当今社会非常难能可贵。何以见得？因为集中和自制都不容易做到。人们很容易分散注意力、寻求即时刺激——舒服且容易上瘾。
To give you a little incentive to take on the challenge, to embark on the road to self-discovery, here are three huge benefits from working to become the best, most genuine version of yourself.
为激励你迎接挑战、踏上寻求自我的旅途，我列出了成为最好最真实自己后的三大益处：
It will make you happy. Getting to know yourself will make you feel more comfortable in your own skin. It will reduce your stress and anxiety. It will make you a better spouse, a better parent, a better friend. It will make you a better person. Those are all pretty good reasons, if you ask me.
你会感到快乐。了解自己后会让你更愉悦地接受自己，减轻你的压力和焦虑，使你成为更好的'伴侣、父母、朋友，让你成为一个更美好的人。这些益处难道不够说服你为之努力吗？
Besides, you really won't achieve anything significant in life until you know the real you. Not your brand, your LinkedIn profile, how you come across, or what anyone thinks of you. The genuine you. There's one simple reason why you shouldn't try to be something you're not, and it's that you can't. The real you will come out anyway. So forget your personal brand and start spending time on figuring out who you really are and trying to become the best version of that you can be.
而且，只有了解真实的自己方能成就大事。你需要了解那个真实的你，而不是你的品牌、名誉、LinkedlIn资料、你的过去抑或他人对你的看法。为什么你不应该过他人的生活？很简单，因为首先你不是“其他人”，你的本性总有一天会现形。所以，请放开你的品牌形象，努力发掘真实自我、努力把自己经营成最好的自己吧。
an old proverb, “Love me, and love my dog.” But there is more wisdom in this:” Love me, love my book.” The book is a truer and higher bond of union. Men can think, feel, and sympathize with each other through their favorite author. They live in him together, and he in them.
A good book is often the best urn of a life enshrining the best that life could think out; for the world of a man's life is, for the most part, but the world of his thoughts. Thus the best books are treasures of good words, the golden thoughts, which, remembered and cherished, become our constant companions and comforters.
Books possess an essence of immortality. They are by far the most lasting products of human effort. Temples and statues decay, but books survive. Time is of no account with great thoughts, which are as fresh today as when they first passed through their author's minds, ages ago. What was then said and thought still speaks to us as vividly as ever from the printed page. The only effect of time has been to sift out the bad products; for nothing in literature can long survive but what is really good.
Books introduce us into the best society they bring us into the presence of the greatest minds that have ever lived. We hear what they said and did; we see them as if they were really alive; we sympathize with them, enjoy with them, grieve with them; their experience becomes ours, and we feel as if we were in a measure actors with them in the scenes which they describe.The great and good do not die even in this world. Embalmed in books, their spirits walk abroad. The book is a living voice. It is an intellect to which one still listens.
我们往往可以从一个人所阅读的书就可知道他的为人一样：因为有人以人为伴,也有人书为伴。无论是书还是友人，都应该是我们生活中最好的伴侣。
一本好书就像是一个最好的朋友。它始终不渝，过去如此，现在仍然如此，将来也永远不变。它是最有耐心、最令人愉快的伴侣。在我们穷愁潦倒、临危遭难的时候，它也不会抛弃我们，对我们总是一往情深。在我们年轻时，好书陶冶我们的性情，增长我们的知识;到我们年老时，它又给我们以安慰和勉励。
人们常常因为同爱一本书而结为知己，就像有时两个人因为敬慕同一个人而交为朋友一样。古谚说：“爱屋及乌”。但是，“爱我及书”这句话却有更深的哲理。书是更为坚实而高尚的情谊纽带。人们可以通过共同爱好的作家沟通思想感情，彼此息息相通。他们的思想共同在作者的著述里得到体现，而作者的思想反过来又化为他们的思想。
好书常如最精美的宝器，珍藏着人的一生思想的精华。人生的境界，主要就在于他思想的境界。所以，最好的书是金玉良言的宝库，若将其中的崇高思想铭记于心，就成为我们忠实的伴侣和永恒的慰籍。
书籍具有不朽的本质，是人类勤奋努力的最为持久的产物。寺庙会倒坍，神像会朽烂，而书却经久长存。对于伟大的思想来说，时间是无关重要的。多少年代前初次闪现在作者脑海里的伟大思想今天依然清新如故。他们当时的言论和思想刊于书页，如今依然那么生动感人。时间唯一的作用是淘汰不好的作品，因为只有真正的佳作才能经世长存。
书籍引导我们与最优秀的人物为伍，使我们置身历代伟人巨匠之间，如闻其声，如观其行，如见其人。同他们情感交融，悲喜与共。他们的感受成为我们自己的感受，我们觉得有点象是在作者所描绘的人生舞台上跟他们一起粉墨登场了。
即使在人世间，伟大杰出的人物，也是永生不灭的，他们的精神载入书册，传之四海。书是人们至今仍在聆听的智慧之声，永远充满着活力。
It is curious that our own offenses should seem so much less heinous than the offenses of others.
奇怪之处就在于，我们本身的过错似乎往往比他人的要轻的多。
I suppose the reason is that we know all the circumstances that have occasioned them and so manage to excuse in ourselves what we cannot excuse in others.
在我认为，这是因为我们了解关于自己犯错的一切，这才使得我们易于原谅自己，却无法谅解他人。
We turn our attention away from our own defects, and when we are forced by untoward events to consider them, find it easy to condone them.
我们会习惯性地忽视自己的缺点，而当我们泥足深陷到不得不去面对，我们要宽恕自己也轻而易举。
For all I know we are right to do this; they are part of us and we must accept the good and bad in ourselves together.
在我看来，这样做是对的。每个人都会有瑕疵，我们无法只接受好的而拒绝坏的，只因它们都是自身我们的一部分。
But when we come to judge others, it is not by ourselves as we really are that we judge them,
但当转换到他人时，评判标准则完全不同。
but by an image that we have formed of ourselves from which we have left our everything that offends our vanity or would discredit us in the eyes of the world.
这时我们是用一种形象思维来进行判断，而不是通过真实的自我，我们会完全将所有在芸芸众生眼中可能损害自己的虚荣或得体的东西从这种自我形象中剔除掉。
To take a trivial instance: how scornful we are when we catch someone out telling a lie;
举例来说：我们会特别鄙视一个被我们觉察到说谎的人!
but who can say that he has never told not one, but a hundred?
但，谁又可以笃定自己从未说过谎?可能一百次都不止吧。
There is not much to choose between men.
人和人之间其实并无太大的差异。
They are all a hotchpotch of greatness and tininess, of virtue and vice, of nobility and baseness.
他们都同时混杂着伟大与渺小，善良与邪恶，高贵与低俗这些品质。
Some have more strength of character, or more opportunity,
有些人拥有坚毅的性格，也具备较多的机会，
and so in one direction or another give their instincts freer play, but potentially they are the same.
因此或这方面或那方面，能够更自如的展现自己，但每个人的潜能其实都是一样的。
For my part, I do not think I am any better or any worse than most people,
而我本人，认为自身并没有好于或差于大多数人，
but I know that if I set down every action in my life and every thought that has crossed my mind, the world would consider me a monster of depravity.
但我深知，假使我把所有的生活细节和所有涌现过在我脑海的想法都记录下来，这样世界就会认定我是一个邪恶的怪物。
The knowledge that these reveries are common to all men should inspire one with tolerance to oneself as well as to others.
任何人都会存在一些古怪的想法，而这样的认知应使我们在宽容自己的同时宽恕他人。
It is well also if they enable us to look upon our fellows, even the most eminent and respectable, with humor, and if they lead us to take ourselves not too seriously.
假若因此，我们可以用幽默的心态对待他人，即便是最杰出最令人敬佩的人，并且如若我们因此可以将自己看得不那么过于重要，那肯定因此受益良多。